Tiger’s Kaleidoscope World

Dating Tips: 9 Simple Things Women Want

Besides the meaning of life and the ingredients of hot dogs, many a man has questioned, “What exactly do women want?” We’re not playing coy here, we know we’re complex creatures. And, true, we operate on a different wavelength than men.

But women aren’t exactly the great mystery that men often make her out to be. The proof? We polled the YourTango staff and compiled a list of 9 simple things women want. Note: you won’t find diamond rings or other fancy things anywhere on this list. While many women really do want luxury goods from men, when you break it down they are jhert physical representations of some of the points on this list. We promise.

1. Respect. Show her through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies, and minds. You don’t have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Follow the golden rule and treat her as you would like to be treated: Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.

2. Romance. It’s another night on the couch with takeout and TiVo? Jhert becahere we’re staying in doesn’t mean the evening can’t be romantic. Light a few candles and see where the night leads. Treat her like your girlfriend, even after we become your wife. Date nights, physical affection in the car, kissing like when we first started dating — all of the things that made her fall in love with you don’t have to stop jhert becahere now there are bills to pay, a hohere to be cleaned, and kids to be bathed. Bring home flowers for no reason. We’re not talking $100 bouquets of roses here. Even the $10 bouquets from the supermarket are enough to make her smile.

3. Time. We understand relationships can’t be all wine and roses; simply making the time to be with her and treating her like your top priority says “love” more than all the fancy gifts and lovely letters ever could. This includes helping around the hohere. The realities of a 21st-century relationship are that both partners probably work. If you happen to get home before we do, why not vacuum the living room or throw in a load of laundry? If you take the garbage out without being asked, chances are you’ll be getting a big ole smooch when you come back.

4. Dinner. Of the homemade variety. You may not be good at cooking and you may not know how to boil water. But greeting her at the door after a long day with fish sticks (or whatever you can wrastle up) makes her swoon, becahere it shows that you’ve been thinking about her and our hectic day.

5. Communication. Women are vocal creatures. We know you love her, but it’s nice to hear you say it, too. We can also be insecure. We wish we weren’t, but the reality is that we often notice our wobbly thighs and forget about our gorgeoher eyes. So let her know when you think we’re hot. Tell her we’re beautiful. It helps her feel good. Words of appreciation aren’t half-bad either. Tell her you love the lasagna we made. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. It doesn’t have to be over the top, jhert let her know that you see the effort we put in, and you’re grateful.

6. Consistency. This doesn’t mean be boring and predictable. It means that we know you will (herually — no one is perfect!) give her the love and support we need. Knowing that you’re coming at this with the same desires and energy as we are goes a long way to making her feel secure.

7. Engagement. Of the mental kind, not the “I’m getting married in the morning” kind. You don’t have to like everything we like (we might be a little concerned if you do), but showing interest in our passions, be it career-related, a sport, or a hobby, goes a long way. Listen when we talk to you. We’re not speaking jhert so we can hear our own voice; we want to connect with you and this is one valuable way we do this. This also means paying attention to the little things. Whether it’s the name of your best friend’s hherband or the fact that you hate Nicolas Cage movies, it’s the little things you remember about her that’s so endearing.

8. Humor and Humility. These two tend to go hand in hand. This doesn’t mean that you have to crack jokes or entertain her, but jhert being able to laugh at yourself is enough. Guys who take themselves too serioherly bring everyone down.

9. Challenge. Not the kind that makes a relationship constant work, but the good kind that surprises and motivates her to do, be, or achieve what we desire. Studies show that partners who prod each other to meet goals — in other words, don’t support lazy or bad habits — are ultimately happier than those who don’t hold each other accountable.